So, I know I haven't posted in forever, that it's more like 35 insights into my soul rather than 152, that my faithful readers have all but given up on me (hello, Erin, are you reading this?)...but I just haven't been inspired to write. Even though I love writing essays and poems, I have never been much of a journaler. I'm such a prolific talker, you know--so good and analyzing and over-analyzing myself and my little world verbally that I've never done it much on paper. I've journaled a good bit in the past when I had a ridiculous new crush on someone, or was going through some kind of crisis, but besides that, no. I've often thought that if I become a famous writer some day (uh, Leah...that would require that you do some WRITING--hush, self!), that there won't be much to publish in the way of personal papers. Of course, if I had the kind of job that gave me lots of time for reflection, I'd make myself write everyday, no matter what. I've had some excellent results in the past from forcing myself to write. But I'm not there right this minute.
Anyway, folks have been wondering about my job. Well, I've learned a few things in 9 weeks.
1. South Georgia is not Middle Georgia. Some of the comments about the South that I've bristled at all my life seem a little bit more warranted down that-a-way.
2. I am not an artist.* I love art, and I like to make crafts, but I am a word person. I miss talking and thinking about words and ideas.
3. I was not meant to be an art teacher.* Paper has always been a problem for me, what with all the written assignments of the language arts classroom--stacks to be graded, stacks to be returned, etc. Now there's paper everywhere. And broken crayons. And charcoal dust. And glue. And paint. And clay. And bits of wire. And crumpled up pieces of Leah's sanity.
4. I'm done with the public school (or private, for that matter) classroom. I've tried different grades, different subjects, and different schools, and I'm convinced that this profession is not something I want to spend any more of my life on. I haven't ruled out college, but we'll see.
5. God is sovereign. Yes, I already knew this, but I've realized that whether this was a horrible decision that He's working together for good, or the right decision that just happens to be really hard, divine purposes are being accomplished. Whether it's loving a kid who doesn't get much attention at home, or learning how to be more disciplined, or sharpening my French skills (by podcast!) on my long commute (yes, there could be divine purpose in learning French!!!), or being a good friend to some of my colleagues, there's a reason for this season. Pray that I'll keep this attitude and get my mind right. So far, I haven't been handling it too well.
2017 update:
*I no longer consider this to be accurate. I am definitely an artist. While words are my preferred medium, I wouldn't be whole without creating visual art as well.
**Ha, ha, ha. Only what I've done for the past 4 and a half years--in elementary, no less. Still finding bits of my sanity everywhere amongst ribbon scraps and marker lids.
Anyway, folks have been wondering about my job. Well, I've learned a few things in 9 weeks.
1. South Georgia is not Middle Georgia. Some of the comments about the South that I've bristled at all my life seem a little bit more warranted down that-a-way.
2. I am not an artist.* I love art, and I like to make crafts, but I am a word person. I miss talking and thinking about words and ideas.
3. I was not meant to be an art teacher.* Paper has always been a problem for me, what with all the written assignments of the language arts classroom--stacks to be graded, stacks to be returned, etc. Now there's paper everywhere. And broken crayons. And charcoal dust. And glue. And paint. And clay. And bits of wire. And crumpled up pieces of Leah's sanity.
4. I'm done with the public school (or private, for that matter) classroom. I've tried different grades, different subjects, and different schools, and I'm convinced that this profession is not something I want to spend any more of my life on. I haven't ruled out college, but we'll see.
5. God is sovereign. Yes, I already knew this, but I've realized that whether this was a horrible decision that He's working together for good, or the right decision that just happens to be really hard, divine purposes are being accomplished. Whether it's loving a kid who doesn't get much attention at home, or learning how to be more disciplined, or sharpening my French skills (by podcast!) on my long commute (yes, there could be divine purpose in learning French!!!), or being a good friend to some of my colleagues, there's a reason for this season. Pray that I'll keep this attitude and get my mind right. So far, I haven't been handling it too well.
2017 update:
*I no longer consider this to be accurate. I am definitely an artist. While words are my preferred medium, I wouldn't be whole without creating visual art as well.
**Ha, ha, ha. Only what I've done for the past 4 and a half years--in elementary, no less. Still finding bits of my sanity everywhere amongst ribbon scraps and marker lids.
5 comments:
Glad to see you posting again. Sorry to hear that your job is not fulfilling. I hope that some good comes out of this situation, and that you are able to see the good from the situation before too much time goes by.
At least at the end of it you can say "I learned 9 things about myself and the cosmos." It's like Luther says in The Ghost and Mr. Chicken: When you work with words, words are your work.
Here's hoping that you will soon find that one occupation that will make you come alive.
It was so good to see you this past weekend! I will be praying that you will see God's direction in your life.
Your heart is beautiful and I know that God will use it for His glory.
I hope to see you again sometime in the near future.
Hope Smith :)
I am sorry that you aren't liking your teaching position but I totally understand! I am not enjoying teaching 5th grade math. The politicians have taken all of the joy out of teaching. We have to push the children into the next unit to cover the standards whether they are ready or not. I find it frustrating and ridiculous.
I spent much time today in prayer about teaching and what God has in store for me and my family.
I will add you to my prayers.
Love,
Debbie
I'm so behind on my blog reading...
Sorry to hear about the job frustrations. You've definitely given teaching repeated tries (different grades, different subjects, different schools). I think you could be great at college, if you chose that route. But we're all praying for you. As Josh said, soon you will find that one job that will make you come alive. It will fit you like a glove.
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